Wike, Sim, Orokpo, Arome and lessons on mentorship by Charles Awuzie….
I have decided to bundle religion with politics in this post believing that my followers have now mentally evolved to such an extent that they are no longer sentimentally attached to their political or religious sects but to logic, truth and a desire to grow.
If you are a mentor, father, leader or teacher to someone, please read this post.
And if someone has helped you in your journey in life, also read this post.
First of all, I want to thank Brothers Arome and Orokpo for the maturity to reconcile after their mentor-mentee relationship fell apart. This is examplary even though part of the lessons in this post will help us avoid such unnecessary disappointments.
The problem between Wike and Sim is not politics…
The problem between Orokpo and Arome is not doctrine…
What destroys every mentor-mentee relationship is ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY.
Most mentors feel entitled to the success of their successor to such an extent that they unknowingly become TorMentors and no longer mentors.
I want to speak specifically to Mentors in this post – Your role is sacred and respected. I see your sacrifices. I understand what it means to give someone else your platform, your name, and your network to position them for influence. I do the same hence I understand it.
But remember, whatever anyone becomes in life is mostly driven by their own ambitions and intentionality than your mentorship. Your mentorship can make it easier for them but without their ambitions and personal commitment, no mentor can make a mentee climb the ladder of success. Realising this will reduce your level of entitlement to their success. They did it – let them own their success. And be proud of them.
As a mentor, I have ZERO entitlement to the success of any mentee. Those around me will tell you that I have mentees leading multi million dollar companies across Africa. I have never asked them for a Kobo. I have linked people to funders in Europe, America and Australia, they secured the funds and built their start-ups and I never felt entitled to their success. They try to link me to their success and I’ll always tell them “YOU MADE IT HAPPEN. YOU ARE INTELLIGENT. YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF AN OPPORTUNITY AND MADE THE MOST OUT OF IT”. That’s the spirit of mentorship. The mentee who thinks they cannot become something without their mentor is not a mentee but a slav£. I don’t keep such mentees because they are not with me because of love but because they think they need me to become. Bill Gates doesn’t need Warren Buffet to remain a Billionaire. But Bill Gates and Warren have maintained the longest Mentee – mentor relationship over decades based on Mutual Respect and deep love. Bill Gates was once the richest man in the world – richer than his mentor. Yes. That’s what true mentorship is – empowering people to become more powerful than yourself. If your mentee isn’t more powerful yet, don’t celebrate. You haven’t succeeded as a mentor.
In religion and politics, mentorship has been w£aponised. It shouldn’t be so. I’ve heard many Spiritual Mentors claim that their anointing is the secret behind the success of their mentee – that’s not the truth except your mentee doesn’t have his unique gifts too. What is true is that YOUR NAME OR BRAND has brought visibility to your mentee. That’s more accurate and a grateful mentee should always appreciate the gift of visibility and brand association.
Wike and Sim are not political enemies – they are both birds of the same political feather. Their problem is mismanaged expectations and elevated entitlement Mentality. One among them thinks he deserves more for their contribution in the success of the other. This was the problem between Orokpo and Arome too. But they successfully managed it meaning that Wike can learn from Arome and Sim can learn from Orokpo. Just as you and me should learn from this story.
This also goes to mentees with entitlement Mentality – just because you are connected to a mentor with a big platform doesn’t mean he will launch you on his platform prematurely. I have a mentee here who remained with me for years until I met him physically..he never asked for visibility. He was loyal and Never felt entitled to anything I have. Now that’s true relationship. That’s True love.
Any Mentor – mentee relationship that’s not built on LOVE is transactional and will end up like what we see in Rivers State.
My name is Charles Awuzie and I believe in a non transactional, love based mentor – mentee relationship.
